| Love is a Battlefield |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|06:14 pm] |
Life is so BLAH right now. Work is killing me and school is getting tough and I just feel like I am going to crack I need to get caught up on everything so I can just CHILL for a little. I don't have much time here I just wanted to say HOLA! and be on my way. well hopefully things should get better.
<3 Rach
"We are young heart ache to heart ache we stand no promises no demands love is a battlefield... We are strong no one can tell us we're wrong searching our hearts for so long both of us knowing love is a battlefield." |
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| One More |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|05:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
Well it's just another entry in the journal, this one can't be as long because I only have a limited time on AOL. I will try to get in here more often so I can write more but for now AJ and DJ and Carlos are smoking in the living room and I am sitting back here on the computer. DJ pissed me off right now. He likes to play around and he threw my Bottle that has my white rose in it. That was the only rose I had ever gotten from someone. It had meaning and it was special. It was a long stemmed red rose that was the only one out of 11 red roses. I got it for Valentine's Day and I've had it for over a year now. Feels like everything is crashing down now and I'm losing everything. I know it's just a rose but its still something special to me and everything that has meaning to me seems to somehow get ruined... oh well I guess that's life. I am hoping and praying that my mom gets this house that we looked at. It's kinda perfect and I really like it. I could see myself in it for a while making changes accordingly. Maybe even buying it later. Everytime I make plans for something like this it always ends up falling through so I can't make plans anymore I just have to go with what life gives me. Kinda screwed up though. I finally went back to school today. It was really weird but at the same time felt really good to get back into a routine. I talked to the Director of Administration and he handled everything like my being absent he was really cool with it. I am absolutely in love with this school. They seem to be able to work aroung anything that I need taken care of and I can't wait to get my Bachelors, then on to law school. Law school is what I'm looking forward to big time but I also know that it will be so much harder than this school. I doubt I can get into a private law school that would be as awesome in scheduling as this one is. Well, like I said I only have a limited amount of time on here and my time is up so I must be on my way... I'll be back though
<3 Rach |
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| Devirginized |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|09:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
Well this would be my first entry and hopefully not my last. I like this one a lot better than some of the other journal thingers I see around here. I need to write my thoughts down more often maybe they would make a lot more sense to me. Well this day has gone fairly well so far. I haven't had a fight with AJ and I think my mom is right about my mood swings I have them a lot more than I think I do... I need to just get a vacation and get away because life is just killing me. Everything seems to come crashnig down on me all at once and I just need to get shit taken care of and get away from it all. I wish I had a vacation time though from school or work or anything. Aj and I could hit the beach or something. Things with him have been kinda weird too. We get into these knock down drag out fights and I have so much shit built up in me that I just cry and I don't need to get so emotional like that. He threatens to leave though and I just can't handle it. I have a really big fear of being left. Maybe it has something to do with always being alone or maybe because I'm deathly afraid to be alone and now that someone is here I depend on them SO much or maybe it could be the fact that I'm always being left. Oh well whatever it is I gotta get rid of it. Mom wants in here so I guess I'm going. Untill next time...
<3 Rachael |
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